"Silence and Solitude"

In the process of adulting , one thing which has been very profound in my life must be falling in love with “silence and solitude”. As days are passing by , I am becoming increasingly hooked by the need of being alone most of the time. The chaos around me feels so disturbing and overwhelming whereas silence brings me joy. Time and time again, I want find myself in a midst of nothingness, a land far away from everything where nothing exists to bother me. Silence allows me to contemplate on the aspects of life which I usually can not. There is a constant need I feel for myself to introspect about my feelings and emotions which are very personal. My soul craves for the answers about existence, purpose of life and reason of this whole theatre of reality where we are kinda stuck. We have forgotten living life a long back. On the contrary, life, seems like a journey of survival and suffering in which we are so engrossed and entangled that beauty of life has been perished. However, it feels like this rotten, non fictional , pathetic society has imposed upon its rules which I must abide my. The significance of individuality is a myth now or grossly misinterpreted. 

I always have felt, I never signed up for this mess on the first place. My ambitions, aspirations and dreams are very different than the reality I have made a part of, forcefully and illegally. 

I hold onto my grudges and frustrations without letting anyone know and in silence I can vent out, scream aloud or just simply think about them. Solitude makes me happy, it helps me to free and it gives me an emancipation from the mundane discrepancies continuously being thrown at me. Silence listens to me just like I listen to it. It understands me better than anyone and anyone, comforting me at least for a time being, and I perceive a deep, latent connection with my own self, my existence. 

Maybe I am turning into a lunatic.

I want to be immersed, submerged and lost in silence rather than an “orchestrated farce known as society”. 

I just wish to feel myself, my actual and true self. No lies, no falsity, no trickery. Just the truth. No matter how unpleasant it maybe.

-The retard philosopher :):